Ten on Tuesday: 10 Things that are Zapping my Energy

.

My Ten on Tuesday series is back as I try to apply a yoga principle to my daily life, during final relaxation (one of the few times my mind will slow down), we are encouraged to acknowledge thoughts that float through our heads, and then let them go. My hope is by acknowledging these energy zappers that I can go in to 2014 with a fresh, clear mind ready to have a really good year. Plus as I sit here I get to look back at my beautiful Christmas tree - which finally went up this past weekend - and that brings me a certain level of peace.

• Being a Bears fan (and trying to write about it). I aspire to write each week during the football season. Sometimes though I don't have the energy or desire. That needs to be okay. Not to mention the way I was yelling at the television yesterday during the Bears-Browns game it cannot be good for my blood pressure. A friend on Facebook wrote that smoking unfiltered cigarettes may be better for his health than rooting for the Bears. As much as cigarette smoking is not something to joke about, I do have to wonder if he is not right... This week's post - "In Chicago a Win that did not feel like a Win"

• Nasty-grams. I can only hope that you do not receive nasty-grams (mean spirited emails). They sure do not feel good. The irony of some nasty-grams that I receive is that the amount of time and energy that went in to writing said nasty-gram probably took more time than doing what I asked in the first place. Also, I want to make it clear that while I voted for President Obama, Health Care Reform is not actually my fault.

• Entitlement. Webster's Dictionary defines entitlement: "the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something (such as special privileges)"
• Being born in 1982 I overlap between Gen X and Gen Y, but as a child of baby boomers, I probably fall more into the Gen Y category. Anyway, quite often my generation is characterized as entitled. We were given trophies for participation, not spanked enough, and just want everything handed to us. 
• I do not like the word entitlement, nor the concept, but man when it smacks you in the face, it's easy to recognize. I wish I knew where the feeling comes from as I think that would help me know how to combat it. I do not expect anything to be handed to me; I believe that I was taught to work for what I have/want. My parents did a tremendous amount for my sisters and me in an effort to give us all the opportunities to succeed as adults. I want to succeed by working hard and smart. In the spirit of true honesty though, I sure did like my trophies because I was not particularly athletic enough to "earn one," and the things I did participate in with any skill did not tend to give trophies.

• Wanderlust. I like to go places, especially ones that I have never been. Each place I visit, I enjoy picturing myself there for an extended period of time. Danny and I have set down roots here in Colorado, and I really enjoy living here. I just find myself itching to do something different and/or go someplace new. Since no travels are planned until May, I am looking for more attainable solutions. For instance, I am taking ukulele lessons, continuing to read new magazines thus learning new things, and trying to explore my new home town of Lakewood and beyond.

• Varied Priorities. I cannot control anyone's priorities except my own. I have come to accept that when I say I do not have the money or the time to do x, y, or z, it is because I have chosen to do something else. I am trying to make a more conscious decision about what truly is a priority in my life.

• Fear of being a Helicopter Parent. The "helicopter parent" is definitely another phenomenon of my generation. I definitely grew up with kids whose parents fit the mold before the phrase was coined. I am not the child of helicopter parents, thank goodness. My parents would step in when needed, for instance my Dad fought to get me into the honor's English program after I agreed to sign a waiver saying that I would more than likely not succeed. Yea for supportive educators! My Mom came to my defense against an over-bearing, albeit well-meaning instructor who was hampering my spirit and enthusiasm for the activity. Still, when I screwed up (which I often did and do), it was expected that I would accept the consequences, and work to fix it next time.
  
  I am absolutely a helicopter parent when it comes to the Spike-Monster. He is a special needs doggie, and I am very, very protective of his eye. For goodness sake, he only has one! Plus I promised his foster parents when I adopted him that I would take good care of him, and he is a favorite of his eye doctor. I feel a strong sense of responsibility to give this little guy a good life. I am not going to cripple Spike's emotional development in the process, though. I would not be doing any future Pechie-children a service by treating them the way I treat Spike.
  
  Danny and I have no immediate plans to have kids, but I was recently asked if I think that he and I will be good parents. Holy cow! The question leads me to believe this person doubts my ability, which is not at all helpful.

• Planner vs. Non-Planner. Versus is such a strong word, and not at all my intention. It is just two very different personalities, each of which have their place. It is just really hard for me when people who know that I am a planner completely invalidate me by dismissing any plans I try to make - sometimes it is okay to plan something in advance. It won't hurt you, I promise. At the same time though, it is important for me to work at being more spontaneous.

• My commute. When Danny and I bought our home in Lakewood, we knew on a practical level that our commute was going to double in terms of mileage and time. Yet, it's easy to know without understanding. There is no way to sugar coat it, more often than not, my commute stinks. The biggest frustration is people's inability to merge or allow others to merge. While very few people are actually from Colorado, once you have lived here a while you transfer your license plate, thus blending in. I really wish I could pin point a particular state or state(s) that do not teach people this basic driving function so I can write a nasty-gram of my own  to their DMV.
  
  I am trying to incorporate books on tape to my routine in an effort to not be homicidal by the time I arrive at the office. This comes at the recommendation of a psychologist that I greatly respect as he also has a long daily commute. So far I have done two, and it works well. The constant stream of stimulus seems to provide a healthy diversion that allows me to focus on something other than the time or the yahoo who would not let me in the right lane.

• Over-commitment. When I was visiting with my Grandparents over Thanksgiving I texted Danny at one point that he was really screwed in the respect that I have women on both sides of my family who are incapable of sitting down. My Dad and I arrived earlier than everyone else with the hope that we could be helpful to my grandparents. One of the tasks that we wanted to take on was making the meals. This really helped in my quest for domesticity, plus it was something I could handle (spaghetti). My Grandmom really wanted to do it. So I finally told her that my Dad had told me it was my responsibility. She asked if I did not do it was there was a chance he would put me over his knee. I said, yes. Even though there was no chance of that happening, it still worked - she supervised me, and I avoided a potentially embarrassing situation considering I am one of his grown, married daughters.
  
  I strive to be everything to everybody. I really need to work at finding balance - which is actually the topic of this month's Real Simple magazine (of which I am a big fan). The editor wrote something that I found very helpful, "I believe that balance is less about circumstance and more about perspective."
  
  I need to find the balance of doing the things I want to do with the things I have to do while still making time for myself, as well as the important people in my life.

• Unrealistic, Self-Imposed Deadlines. Sometimes I over-estimate my own abilities, or expect that everything that needs to happen is going to fall in to place. I think this falls into the category of me "looking for things to worry about." I am trying to be more realistic about how long something is going to take - I want to be sure that something is done well rather than just getting crossed off the list. Nothing I do is ever going to be perfect, but I can strive for quality each and every time in its own time - not my own stupid, often arbitrary deadline.

So why did I share all this nonsense with you? I am trying to shift my perspective to stop letting this ridiculousness zap my spirit and my energy. I am giving these ten things far too much power over my thinking. Danny recently compared my brain to a wide receiver running a route - constantly moving, constantly trying to be open for the pass (or in this case an epiphany or some such nonsense). While I cannot stop it, perhaps I can have more control over the play-call while still running the best possible route.