This morning I finally took my wedding dress to the dry cleaner. I was not sure what took me so long until I was asked if I wanted to preserve the dress or just clean it. I looked at Danny for the answer because I have been trying for months to make this decision. Finally, I said I would return later with the veil and an answer about what to do with the dress.
Much like many wedding-related decisions (i.e. my wedding ring), I knew what I wanted to do; but I needed help saying the words. I loved (still do) my dress, but I do not want to keep it in a box. There are no guarantees that Danny and I will have children, let alone a girl. Regardless, I do not want to put any real or perceived pressure that she should wear my dress because I saved it all these years AND paid an extra $30 to have it preserved. I am pretty sure any child of mine would be worried about the money or the fact that I had kept it for this possible purpose. Nope, I will not do it.
Instead my hope for my wedding dress is that someone, even if I never meet her, will have the feeling that I did when I put it on. The dress I chose was the second one that I tried on. I immediately was filled with "the feeling" that this was my dress, but I tried to remain calm thinking, who buys the second dress they try on? Just in case this was my dress, my parents put down a deposit; but I went to another store to try on this one dress that I had seen in a magazine and absolutely loved. I just needed to put that dress on before I could purchase another one. After a fun trip and tour of Coors Field, my parents and I went to a local store that sold the dress I that I could not get out of my mind. The only sample size was way too big for me, but even so it ITCHED! I mean crazy itched; I could barely stand in front of the mirror. I tried on a couple more dresses at that store before returning to the consignment shop the next day to purchase my dress. Once there I tried on a couple more dresses; but the moment I put "my" dress on, I allowed myself to cry the tears I had held back the first time. That moment with my parents (my Dad was such a good sport), was one of my favorite throughout the whole wedding planning process.
There was a certain level irony in the strapless design, never in a million years did the girl with life-long, self-proclaimed "arm-issues" think she would wear a strapless dress on her wedding day. So perhaps that dress has some sort of magical powers. I felt beautiful when I put it on, and I felt beautiful on my wedding day. I want someone else to have that feeling. So when I returned to the store with my veil, I asked that it be preserved; but the dress should only be cleaned. I went through a lot to get my veil, plus I like the thought that perhaps it could be someone's "something borrowed." I walked out of the store comfortable in my decision. Now if I just knew where to send the dress?! One step at a time, I have a couple weeks to figure it out.
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