The Spike Series: The Man Got Me a Grill!

Hi, people, Spike here. I have not been able to communicate with you all in a while, and I want to make it clear that it was not my fault! See Laurie has been feeling very overwhelmed over the last number of months; and when she gets that way, one of the first things to go is blogging. 

To put things in perspective, the pictures on this post were taken the night that Laurie started her 100 Days of Happiness project (#100happydays), and well today is Day #62. That first post included the grill and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bubbles...

Back to me because seriously folks, I did not care about the bubbles! Nope, not even a little bit. You see, all I could focus on was the grill (and the food it makes). The Man brought home this beautiful black charcoal contraption earlier in the summer. I did not really understand it at first, but I could tell it may be worth investigating based on how happy he was about the purchase. The Man put it together right away, but waited until Laurie was out of the house to really use it for the first time. What I mean by really is that The Man made something that Laurie would not necessarily approve of my eating - you guessed it, he made STEAK! Really good steak, and he let me eat off the bone! Then when my Laurie came home, he downplayed how much was left... Ssh - don't tell her, but I ate enough to know that only good things come of that black grill thing. I also know that when Laurie is out, the boys at home will play!

I let my people think that the grill is for them, and I do understand that on occasion things are made on it that I do not get to taste - such as those brats in the picture, or my people's new favorite hot dogs (Parks Finest by Ball Park). Still, I have enjoyed enough steak and ribs (yep, sometimes I get a piece of the Man's "special ribs" - again, don't tell Laurie) to declare that the Man brought the grill in to our lives in an effort to solidify our relationship. 

My great-grandmother, Laurie's Grandmom, really loves to hear my adventures. So it won't be too long before I am back to talk about the road trip I went on back in July. I went to eight states, in addition to Eastern Colorado, including four new places. I even enjoyed most of it! Please come back and hear about that - I like the lovin' and attention!

That's the Thing about Expectations...

...They may just be pressure in disguise.

I have found myself watching a lot of Sex and the City recently, to the point that my brain is starting to chronicle things "Carrie Bradshaw" style - hence the title of this post. If you have never seen the show, Carrie writes a weekly column along that were later published as books, but the columns usually follow the episode marked by a thought-provoking statement or question. 

This year has been an emotional one (both positive and negative), but also one that I can only hope will mark a time of growth in my journey. Thus far this year has tested my faith, my inner and outer strength, and my ability to observe happiness (both in myself and others). Yet, it has also been defined by trying to understand expectations - again my own but also others. 

This past weekend was the Samaritan Institute's Annual Conference, which is a large gathering of Samaritan personnel (read: mostly clinicians). While it is a tremendous amount of pressure for a perfectionist such as myself, it is also a wonderful time to gather with people I have worked with, largely at a distance, over a number of years. My time with the Institute has been marked by transition, both personal and professional, and all of these changes have brought about the underlying theme of expectations. On the personal front: when are you going to get married? (Done). Now it's when are you going to have a baby? (I have NO BLOODY IDEA). On the professional front: what will happen once you receive your MBA? (I have two classes done out of 12 total, give me a moment to figure it out). While I know there is a caring foundation for each of these questions, it feels as though there are societal and "Samaritan" expectations mixed in. Both areas being tough to navigate.

Setting aside the professional side of things, let me tell you how much fun it is to be a 32 year old, married woman living a 1,000 miles away from her family without a clear answer to the "children question." The first time I met my now father-in-law, he asked me when I was going to give him more grandchildren (he already has one). FIRST TIME. The funny thing is at the time, my thought was something along the lines of, "oh that's nice, he likes me enough to want me to stick around." Yet, nearly three years later, the question, which he has not asked again, is not funny or at all helpful. Rather, it feels as though Danny and I are somehow inadequate because we do not have a public or immediate plan to have children. And do you want to know why - neither of us feel ready!

No amount of societal expectations or pressure from well-meaning family (read: one person) can provide those feelings for me or him. A very dear friend of mine of the same age, just announced that he and his wife are pregnant. After my initial feelings of joy and delight for them, my next thought was I wonder if they can explain, "how did they know they were ready" so that I can learn something. Are you ever really ready - me: the planner, Type A personality, may have to accept that I may never feel fully prepared for such a life-altering event.

Here's the other part of expectations that I have given a lot of thought to this year - they can provide a constant battle field. I am realizing that Danny and I have spent a good chunk of our nearly two year marriage (and nearly five years of being a couple) battling each other's expectations for the other person. Each of us was modeled a marriage of longevity (my grandparents, 64+ years; my parents, 40 years; his parents, 39 years). Yet, what has worked for a couple is always going to be unique to the two people in the relationship. I have come to accept and try to understand that I have expectations for what a good, healthy marriage should look like, whereas Danny has his own (different) expectations. SPECTACULAR! Still, he and I are working on it each and every day - some times with more success than others; but the most important thing, I hope, is that we are trying.

For now, please know that Danny and I are scared to death about the thought of having non-fur child(ren). Asking when  it will happen, or reminding me that I am not getting any younger, or asking me if I think I will be a good parent, are not particularly helpful. Rather, I would appreciate a reinforcement of the sentiment that I received from a dear friend: this is not something that is necessarily in our hands - I cannot plan everything (dammit! they may not stop me from trying). Or for all the parents out there perhaps you have some insights on - how you decided you were ready (or, again, as ready as you were going to get?)

Until then, I am going to enjoy my time with my husband, work on my MBA, and do my best to spread the feelings of happiness that I receive from so many people.

You are Loved and Missed Grandpop.

Thanksgiving 2012 

Two weeks ago today, our beloved Grandpop passed away. My sisters and I spoke on behalf of our family at the service. I was proud of what we wrote together as it was truly a group effort to do our best to convey just how much he is loved and missed. The love, prayers, and outpouring of support (and sweets!) have certainly be felt and appreciated by our whole family. He will be forever in our hearts, and I trust we will all be together again. 

Intro (Denise):

We want to thank everyone for being here today – it is clear to see how much our grandfather was loved. Since he epitomized living life to the fullest, we wanted to take this opportunity to celebrate him by sharing some of our family’s memories and collective life lessons.

Sweets (Steph):

One of the important life lessons Grandpop taught everyone was how to access that extra compartment in your stomach meant especially for sweets.  When you thought you were too full from a great steak dinner, one always had room for dessert.  From the dixie cups full of M&Ms, the handfuls of Werthers in the Buick, to the ice cream Sundaes, and Mondays, and Tuesdays... We are sorry to say that the rummage sale will be less one pile of shirts because of the inevitable spill of Hershey's syrup down the front.  In his words, "How'd that get there?"

One of our favorite family memories is the elaborate gingerbread houses that Grandmom and Grandpop made each holiday season.  They were filled with MnMs and decorated to the brim with candy.  To this day, each Thanksgiving visit has no less than 100 gingerbread men decorated and ready to be eaten.  Thanksgiving dinner in our family is an event to envy, from the amazing stuffing to the perfectly carved turkey, Grandmom and Grandpop know how to do it right.  If you stopped and looked in their freezer right now, there's enough meat to last a lifetime.  Being a butcher from an early age, Grandpop was incapable of passing up a good looking piece of meat while completing one his favorite pastimes, a trip to the grocery store.  I think we can all recall an endless conversation with him about a favorite recipe or local restaurant.

He Knew How to Live Life to the Fullest (Laurie):

Our Grandpop retired at 55 and has encouraged us all to do the same. Since most of us will not be lucky enough to follow that lead, the life lesson regardless is that he knew how to live life to the fullest.

Grandmom and Grandpop introduced us to musical theater by taking us to see shows at the Music Box Playhouse, starting with Children's Theater (to this day though, Stephanie is afraid of Rumpelstiltskin and was not willing to take a picture with him) and later dinner shows such as Meet Me in St. Louis, A Christmas Carol, and Grandpop's favorite, ShowBoat. In fact, we were even known to arrive an hour before the theater staff - just to be sure we were not late.

In addition to being timely, we were all taught the rules and etiquette of bowling and miniature golf. I can hit the proper arrow on a bowling lane, but after that, the ball still does its own thing. We also know how to address the golf ball, and to not stand behind the person swinging the club. In spite of years of trying, none of the grandchildren ever did beat Grandpop.

In this spirit, Grandpop taught us all that it's not about the winning, it's the fun had while doing it. Grandpop loved to "deal" a winning hand to the youngest at the table just to see the pure joy on their faces when they realized they had an instant corner in Pit or the elusive and lucrative 8-9-10 of the same suit in Michigan Rummy. The looks on our faces in those moments were still recounted years later many times over.

There is no way to count the number of days we have all spent at Knobels Amusement Park over the years. When we first started going Grandmom would ride the little roller coaster, laughing that infectious laugh and Grandpop would join us for the teacups - helping us to spin our cup as hard as possible. Then they would both join us on the bumper cars - making sure we all got to bump each other as went around the track. Grandpop would usually let out a whoa or gotcha! As the years went by they were both content to follow us around the park, glad to see the grandchildren enjoying themselves even if they were no longer able to participate. Don't worry, we all enjoyed a funnel cake (or two) together. It always seemed that whenever Grandmom and Grandpop were walking or sitting on a bench together that they were holding hands...

Intangibles (Denise):

Our Grandpop had a great number of “intangibles” that modeled to his children and grandchildren how to have a good laugh, to be virtuous, moral, thoughtful and kind-hearted. As he used to say, “Grandpop knows everything.”

He was a devoted husband, father, uncle, and grandfather. His love for his family was transparent, especially for Grandmom throughout their 64 years of marriage. Our Aunt Alice recalls a time when she was walking the dogs with Laurie and it began to rain; Grandpop got right in his car and drove around the neighborhood until he found them.

While that day may have been about the rain, he never needed an excuse to go out for a drive. Perhaps it was his uncanny ability to find the best parking spots everywhere we went, always telling us that they knew he was coming or that they have saved the best for us. He also had a special attachment to his 1993 Buick with an ultimate goal of 200,000 miles. The car now sits at 185,000, and we are trying to figure out how to drive “that boat” the remaining distance. The Buick also had a remote control that was a rare commodity at the time, and to the grandchildren, the car had a magical trunk that would open upon Grandpop’s command or with a wave of his hand.

Grandmom and Grandpop also made a special effort to be with us whenever possible, whether it was on our college campuses, at Grandparent’s Day, or the Ferry Stop on Cape May as a surprise for Scott and Kurt, they always went the extra mile (as there were many miles between us) to spend time with their family.  

Conclusion:

For these and so many other life lessons and memories, we want to say “thank you,” in which our Grandpop would not have said “You’re Welcome” but instead responded with “You’re Velcome.”

As a tribute to our wonderful Grandfather, we ask that you all go home and make yourself a nice, big ice cream “Tuesday.”

Okay God, Olly Olly Oxen Free!

Lately I have found myself thinking a lot about the game hide and go seek. I still remember a few really good hiding places that my family would use, and there is one particular game that has been sticking out in my mind. I was "it," I had found my sisters, and then the three of us starting looking for our Mom. At the time it felt like a really long time, and so finally we gave up. It must have been a respectable amount of time because she did come out after a few pleas. When she came to us we asked her where she had been hiding, but she would not tell. It was clearly a really good spot, and she wanted to be able to use it again. You know to this day, I still have no idea where she was hiding. Our house was not huge, and when there were three teenage girls living in the house it felt REALLY small! So where in the world could she have been?

I don't know that in our games we ever called, "olly olly oxen free;" but lately I have been trying to use that concept with God as I am having trouble seeing his/her plan in all that is swirling around me. I have too much faith to think that I have been forsaken, I just think s/he is doing a really good job of hiding right now. Just like I knew my Mom had not really vanished, I know God is still there somewhere. Sometimes I find myself wondering why things cannot be a little more clear, just a little bit easier.

I cannot provide specifics, but let's just say that things around me are feeling like that notion that at times the "truth is stranger than fiction." In my nearly (two days shy) 32 years on this earth, God has always led me to the place where I was supposed to be and helped through me some pretty ridiculous stuff. So I do trust that everything will work out in God's time, not mine. 

So until it becomes more clear, I am going to keep playing the game knowing that one day God will appear as my Mom did during that rather intense game of hide and go seek. 

Until then, if you hear me saying "olly, olly oxen free," please know I am just trying to understand what the greater plan is for my current craziness. 

I Had a Fever, Just Never Broncos Fever

For much of the month of January I was down for the count with a flu/sinus infection. My fever went as high as 101.1 - which considering I usually hover around 97.1 that was kind of a big deal. If I had paid anything for my flu shot, I would have asked for a refund. Stupid sickness, ain't nobody got time for that!

While I did not choose to be physically sick, I could have chosen to catch "Broncos Fever." 

I am still trying to figure out Denver as a "Sports Town." Granted, I spent much of my life to date in two of the toughest sports towns in the country; so my outlook is a bit skewed. First, there was Philadelphia, hello they booed Santa Claus, and next came Chicago. While my "sports" heart still remains in the Windy City; even I can say, damn! The fans and media have high expectations for our teams, and heaven help those players and coaches if those expectations are not met. The irony there on the baseball front is one would think years of losing baseball on the North-side would have prepared people, but still they have this unfounded hope that the Cubs will have a consistent ability to win. 

In spite of all the years I lived in Chicago or Philadelphia, I was never actually technically living there to experience the thrill and excitement around a team making a run for the Championship. While I celebrated from a distance the White Sox and Phillies winning the World Series, and the Bears going to the Super Bowl; it was just not the same.

So from that standpoint, I enjoyed the emotional high that Denver was riding with the Broncos, to a point. I will admit that I tired of hearing analysts make the same point, even if perhaps they used different words every now and again. With a two week hiatus between the Conference championships and the Super Bowl there was not an aspect of the game that was dissected ad nauseam (except perhaps the actual outcome - which I assure you no one actually foresaw). While I understand this fact is not unique to this Super Bowl, it was further exacerbated by the additional coverage on the local Denver stations.

I have a friend who graduated from the University of Tennessee, and so he had a connection to Peyton when he became a Bronco. So Brian started rooting for the Broncos in addition to the Buffalo Bills - honestly, he is the only Bills fan I have ever met in my life. He also roots for the Phillies and the Washington Capitals in hockey. He trumps me in terms of suspect allegiances. So what is my point? I asked him a few weeks ago whether he will continue to root for the Broncos once Peyton retires? His answer, yes; as he now feels as though he has expended enough emotional energy that he plans continue to root for the Broncos. Finally! Someone understands my feeling of emotional energy and the toll it can take on a sports addict.

Thus far 2014 has not been my best year, and I have been feeling down in the dumps quite a bit. I found myself wondering, aside from Brian's affirmation, whether there really was any credence to my theory of emotional sports energy. And if there is, did I lose it somewhere along the way? Well, last Sunday morning I watched the second half (and subsequent overtime) of the Duke-Syracuse game. I knew the outcome because I had forgotten that I had set the recording earlier in the week. I KNEW THE OUTCOME is the key to that statement, not my forgetfulness. In spite of this fact, I still found myself energized by Duke's play against the second ranked team in the country. This iteration of the Duke basketball team has been hard to watch at times, although Jabari Parker sure is fun while he stays, but man did the Blue Devils ever come to play that night in the Carrier Dome, no less! This is Syracuse's first year as part of the ACC, and I trust that this rivalry is going to be fun to watch for years to come. 

So fear not my faithful readers and fellow sports addicts. I still "got the passion" - it just went into hibernation along with my energy level. Stupid flu. I honestly think that the disappointing end to the Bears season, combined with my frustration at the ridiculous contract that Jay Cutler was given really took the football life out of me. Then I took on two "bandwagon playoff teams" (Carolina Panthers and Indianapolis Colts), and when they each lost there went this season of football for me.

In an effort not to get kicked out of the City of Denver, as I do love living here, I want to be clear that I was rooting for the Broncos. I truly wanted them to win. I just could not yell and scream at the TV with legitimacy. I assure you though, Danny took care of that for the both of us. Poor Spike was terrified for much of that evening. I even tried to comfort Danny in his time of sorrow, until the jerk reminded me that the Manning-led Colts beat my Bears for the Super Bowl. No more sympathy after that seeing as how my Bears' players were minding their own business from the comfort of their own homes.

So on the Monday following the unexpected outcome of the Super Bowl, I got to witness the Mile High City grieve. This is perhaps best captured by my dear friend who works for the History Colorado Museum...

Fear not, Denver, pitchers and catchers reported today for the start of Spring Training. Perhaps the Rockies will surprise us all!

The Spike Series: Oops! The Man (Almost) Did it Again!

Hi, people, Spike here. So, I almost did not get to communicate with you all today. You see, I don't like the cold probably even more than I dislike the white stuff. I absolutely refused to go outside this morning - no, really, Laurie could not even bribe me with a treat. Then when she got home, I took 20 minutes (she checked) to finally do my business. She told me if I did not do my thing, then I could not tell my story. 

So I went, and here I am! Not to talk about the cold, especially since it is not nearly as cold here as it is in other parts of the country, nor do I want to sing Britney Spears' songs. Instead, I want to talk about how the Man almost sabotaged his Colts over the weekend Ala the  Broncos - Patriots game disaster of Thanksgiving.  

Do you see the picture? Aside from the fact that I look extra cute, I am wearing the wrong team's hat! Don't let the Man tell you he was trying to protect me from the cold as Laurie has one just like it with the proper team on it. You see, Laurie slept through much of the Colts - Chiefs game on Saturday afternoon. She was pretty tired, and I was super sad because my grandparents (Laurie's parents) had left the day before. So as a punishment for her nap, the Man tried to switch my allegiances AGAIN - this time to the little horse team (the Colts vs. the big horse team, the Broncos). 

When Laurie awoke sometime during the third quarter the Colts were down, 38-10 to which she asked the Man, "what's up with your team?" His response, "the Colts only seem to have bad 'Luck' on their side." Shortly thereafter, however, the Colts went on a crazy run overcoming one o f the largest deficits in playoff history to win 45-44. Here is a picture from the Kansas City Star newspaper:

What does this all this have to do with the Man and my unfortunate quoting of the Britney Spears song? Well, when Laurie suggested to the Man that my adorable picture should be his Facebook profile picture, the truth came out that the Colts went on their unfortunate downward slide shortly after the Man put the hat on my head! It was after he took it off, that the Colts turned things around! 

While Laurie had high hopes that after the outcome of the Broncos game that the Man would learn not to mess with my sports allegiances! Even though the Bears blew their playoff chances, I will remain a fan of the Bears for as long as Laurie does, which should be forever. Although, truth be told, she is still contemplating which team will be her, "the Bears did not make the playoffs, so she needs a bandwagon team for the duration." It may be the Colts, as that Andrew Luck kid sure is fun to watch... 

Still, don't mess with me, Man! I have powers beyond your understanding! Until next time, stay warm, everybody!

Football Friday from On Her Game - Three Days Before Christmas, my Bears gave to me a BIG LUMP OF COAL

This post for Football Friday for On Her Game is something of a rant because the Bears have squandered yet another golden opportunity. One they really did not deserve based on their inconsistent play of this season. I had such high hopes for the game, and then I found that truth be told, I slept through much of it. While I have been fighting off some kind of end of the year sickness/exhaustion, I think this was more of a defense mechanism, hoping that the game on the TV was just a bad dream. No dice - it was a true nightmare.

On this Sunday evening, three days before Christmas, the stage was set for the Bears to win the NFC North thus securing a spot in the playoffs. The Lions had been eliminated following an overtime loss to the Giants, and the Packers by virtue of their tie with the Vikings would find themselves on the outside looking in if the Bears could just beat the Eagles in Philadelphia. Of course this would not be an easy win as the defense in Chicago has left much to be desired, and the offense in Philadelphia under first year head coach, Chip Kelly has found its rhythm led by second year quarterback, Nick Foles.

Still, NBC snatched up this game for its Sunday Night coverage under the flex-scheduling option; seemingly under the impression that this game was going to be competitive and relevant to the playoff picture. At least the latter was true, even though the Bears seemed oblivious to the fact that this game meant everything to them and absolutely nothing to their opponent in regards to playoff implications.

Following the disastrous ending to the game against the Vikings, I thought for sure the air had completely gone out of the Bears playoff hopes. I had mentally moved on to next season, which is pretty typical for a Bears fan at this point in the season. Yet, the Lions could not seem to pull away, so there was still a flicker of hope. The flame, albeit small, seemed to be stomped out by the Eagles faster than one can light a match as they jumped out to a 21-0 lead before the first quarter had even ended. Of course the final score of 54-11 was even more abysmal.

Melissa Isaacson of ESPN.com and the Chicago Tribune wrote, “when shortly after you get started, your team looks like a group of toddlers in the middle of rush-hour traffic. Ironically, Cutler pointed to the Eagles as an example of a team gathering itself after an embarrassing loss.

"They just had our number. It's going to happen across the NFL," he (Cutler) said. "These guys went to Minnesota last week and had a similar game [losing 48-30], and then they bounced back pretty well.

"Nothing says we can't play well next week."

Actually, Jay there is a lot to say that next week may not go very well either. First of all, the Vikings who have struggled all season to be relevant, beat the stuffing out of the Eagles. Yet, the Bears defense gave up 514 total yards amidst a game that ranked as Isaacson went on to say, “the worst game in Bears franchise history in touchdowns allowed (seven), the second-worst in points allowed and, especially considering what they had to play for, their worst overall showing in recent memory.”

Rather than finishing your playoff business a week ahead of time, the Packers who will more than likely be led by Aaron Rodgers will be coming into Soldier Field on the last game of the season to battle it out for the division title. If this eerily familiar, let’s go back to 2010 when the Bears had the division title and the number two NFC seed secured, but the Packers were trying to squeak their way in to the playoffs as the six seed. Well the Packers did more than just make it into the playoffs, they won the Super Bowl that year.

Do I think that the Packers will win the Super Bowl this season? Absolutely not. Do I think the NFC North deserves to have a representative in the playoffs? Not really. I would actually prefer to temporarily move the Arizona Cardinals in to the North so that the division can be well represented as I think that team is the most deserving of all the potential “on the outside looking in teams.”

Until next Sunday, I will try to figure out a way to block this gift of coal from my memory and root hard for my Bears on Sunday against the Pack. Let’s hope the Bears can find their cheese graters again between now and then. I will also hope that I can keep Jim Mora’s voice out of my head – “What’s that? Ah — Playoffs? Don’t talk about — playoffs?You kidding me? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a game! Another game.”