Football Friday (on Thursday) from On Her Game - Back on the Bears QB Merry-Go-Round, Where it Stops Nobody Knows

http://flic.kr/p/a9jfGZ

Here is the latest installment of Football Friday for On Her Game. I had originally intended to take the week off with the Bears who are on a bye. Then Danny posted an article to my Facebook wall about the re-signing of Jordan Palmer. This started the merry-go-round lyric going through my mind, and I was fairly certain that it was not going to stop until I wrote about it.   

When Jay Cutler went down in the game against the Washington Redskins after saying “ouch!” on his behalf; I said, “Crap! The Bears are back on the quarterback merry-go-round.” Then I started singing a song (Merry Go ‘Round by Kasey Musgrave) of which somehow I know but just one line… “broken merry go 'round and 'round and 'round we go, where it stops nobody knows.”

Since becoming a Bears fan at the tender age of nine around 1991, I have seen over 25 different quarterbacks start at least one game for my beloved team. I cannot name all of them, and there are more than a few that I would rather forget ever wore a Bears uniform. It was at this time that I came to a difficult yet obvious realization: the Bears as my team have never given me a quarterback to root for beyond his tenure in Chicago. Thus, it is difficult for me to imagine following a QB to another team.

Two weeks ago, after asking my husband to pick a side in the Broncos vs. Colts game, he chose "offense."  To which I called him the worst sports fan ever, but in actuality I must concede that as a Colts fan he has had the “luxury" of seeing good quarterback play for as long as he can remember with Peyton Manning only to be succeeded by Andrew Luck. In other words, there is no such quarterback merry-go-round in Indianapolis; and I will cut my husband a bit of slack, though I still think he should have picked a team rather than a side of the ball.

The Bears may never have a QB like Manning (or Luck), but I wanted to believe that signing Jay Cutler could be an end to the 25 plus player merry-go-round. At some point you just have to say, stop the ride, I want to get off! Regardless of whether you like Cutler or not, and believe me there are times that I do not, he has brought a toughness and excitement rarely seen at the quarterback position in Chicago. It has been said that this injury would take 4-6 weeks to heal, but Coach Marc Trestman and receiver Brandon Marshall predict Cutler could be back sooner than initially anticipated, and with any luck that is true given the tough schedule facing the Bears over that time as another division game against the Lions comes after Green Bay, followed by the Ravens and a tougher than one would think St. Louis Rams team. 

Cutler has been seen at Bears practice saying that he feels good, but also hopefully offering support and encouragement to Josh McCown, who will be the Bears starter on Monday. The strong play that McCown showed against Washington after Cutler went down needs to continue against the Packers for the Bears to have a fighting chance. The back-up to McCown will be Jordan Palmer, who was resigned after failing to earn a spot on the final regular season roster. The upside to Palmer is the familiarity with the offensive system in place, but it is hard for this Bears fan not to sing, “broken merry go 'round and 'round and 'round we go, where it stops nobody knows.”

Going Off the Path for Sunday Brunch OR Why I Read, Scientific American Mind

Danny and I decided to go to Boulder this morning for brunch. The plan was to go to Waffle Brothers, which was ridiculousness since there is a location much closer to home. Still it's hard to top their food. It was trying something new without really trying anything new. The sight upon our arrival was very strange with condensation on the door, rotting bananas in the window, and a hand-written sign that said, "closed until further notice." Thanks to a Yelp search, Plan B became The Buff, which was featured on Man vs. Food. Sadly, this was also not meant to be as by the time we found it, which was unnecessarily tough, there was a 45 minute wait. I want to believe it would have been worth it, but at that point it was just after 11:00 a.m. and neither of us had eaten anything yet. I had seen a local,chain brewery across the street so that became Plan C. Suddenly Danny asks if Plan C.1 can be daphne's California Greek. After paroozing the menu on the glass, I was in. When we got inside I saw they had Lemon Chicken soup for $1.69. I am willing to try just about anything that could be a viable Colorado substitute for lemon rice soup, especially when it costs less than two dollars. Danny tried the soup first, and had this look of, Laurie, you're going to enjoy this... Enjoy it, I did! So much so that three more bowls came home with us, and I did a little happy dance in the booth. The consistency is different without the rice, but the flavor is truly the closest thing I have found outside the region to this soup that I love so much! 

Danny thanked me for my flexibility, I told him that we had physically gone off the path as inspired by The Happiness Project.  I was grateful that he understood what I meant. 

I think part of my response was that I had been thinking about this post as I have been reading the September/October issue of Scientific American Mind for over a week now. I picked up this magazine on a trip to Barnes & Noble while I was on a mission for a book of KenKen puzzles - which is my latest fascination. There I go off the path (read: digressing), again. I think I was drawn by the larger than life picture and headline on the cover - Get Real - Avoid the Pitfalls of Self Esteem as I had been mulling (borderline obsessing) over last week's Ten on Tuesday: Ten Things THIS WOMAN Needs to Stop Doing because sharing one's self esteem issues with whomever chooses to read them is not exactly my idea of a good time. 

What I found was an interesting scientific journal format rather than a typical magazine as there were a mere five advertisements throughout the whole 76 page publication. I am not sure how they make any money, but considering there is a new issue on newsstands, they must have figured something out. To be completely honest there were a few pieces that were beyond my non-science brain, but for the most part the writing had a nice blend of research and explanations that a layperson, like me, could understand. While each article had a section that listed further reading options - I do not think any of them will be read by me.

Let's get to the content:

• The first section called Social Medicine - How interacting with the people around us makes us healthier, happier, and longer lived - helped give scientific backing to many of the things that I am trying to do:
• Your "roaming entropy," or the frequency or variety with which you get out and about likely affects your brain health. In a study of adult mice, the animals with higher roaming entropy had a great proliferation of adult-born neurons. 
• I think the brunch adventure chronicled earlier could count as roaming entropy.

• Kind hearts are healthier - volunteering improves cardiovascular health.
• Keeping others motivated could improve your own motivation for healthy behaviors.
  
  
• Even small talk helps - social isolation, not loneliness, is linked with earlier death.
• Isolation is known to shorten lives - psychologists have discovered that even superficial contact with other people may improve our health. My fear of isolation was noted last week.
  
  
• Contagious altruism - altruism inspires more altruism, according to many studies as generosity is its own reward. People around the world are happier the more they donate to charity. Yea for sharing with others rather than only taking care of ourselves!
  
  
• Contagious yawning emerges in children at the age of five or six. It may relate to empathy, which also develops around this time. This got me thinking about the yawning man from the movie, Tom Thumb. Did that happen to anyone else?
  
  
• Social Skills to Crow About
• The intelligence of the corvid family - a group of birds that includes crows, ravens, magpies, rooks, and jackdaws (I had to look some of these up) - rivals that of apes and dolphins. Recent studies are revealing impressive details about crows' social reasoning, offering hints about how our own interpersonal intelligence may have evolved. 
• A study was conducted with birds in a Seattle park in which the scientists wore two kinds of masks. One mask would trap the birds, the other would simply walk on by. Five years later these scientists returned with their masks - the birds present at the original trapping shared the incident with all the birds there on that particular day. All the crows responded by immediately mobbing that masked scientist while shrieking. 
• Somehow this gives a whole new meaning to me for Poe's The Raven or Hitchcock's The Birds.
• Apparently pigeons can learn to distinguish a painting by Picasso from one by Monet - I am not completely sure I could do that without first brushing up on their work (no pun intended).
  
  
• Life of a Drug
• Decades of research and billions of dollars go into developing a marketing drugs. Here is a very abbreviated profile (really the parts that I found interesting) of Cymbalta, which is produced by Eli Lilly.
• The drug that became Cymbalta was initially discovered in the early 1950s by tuberculosis researchers as they found a drug that treats infections also boosts patients' moods.
• Fast forward to 2013 with a lot of information, studies, and processes in between, Cymbalta goes off patent at the end of the year. Lilly is expected to lay off up to 1,000 sales workers in anticipation of the revenue loss. Cymbalta and osteoporosis drug Evista together bring in $5 billion (with a B) annually to Eli Lilly. Evista goes off patent in early 2014.
  
  
• Head Lines: The Mysteries of Pain
• Migraines look different in men and women; 3:1 ratio of the prevalence of migraines in women to men in a one year period.
• During a migraine:
• Women experience more intense emotional responses to pain.
• Men are more sensitive to heat, such as from a hot cup of coffee or a steamy shower.
• There is such a thing as a cluster headache, which just sounds awful, and tend to turn up in cycles lasting six to eight weeks.
• During these cycles, afflicted individuals - more often men - experience intense daily headaches on one side of the head, each lasting an hour or two, explains headache expert (what a title) Peter Goadsby, a neurologist at the University of California, San Francisco.
• Memory of a pain can cause the pain to persist for life, even after the initial injury has healed - this could explain the pain I feel in my right wrist from time to time as I have broken it twice.
• I have an unhealthy (literally) love of many of the top migraine triggers (e.g. chocolate, nuts, peanut butter, and dairy products). CRAP!
  
  
• Letting Go of Self-Esteem
• Self-esteem, or a person's overall sense of self-worth, is generally considered to be critical to healthy functioning. Its darker side, however, had been largely overlooked. The quest for great self-esteem, primarily that which is  contingent upon success, can leave people feeling empty and dissatisfied.
• To feel good about yourself, think less about YOU and more about OTHERS.
• Compassion toward others and yourself (in other words we should cut ourselves some slack), along with a less self-centered perspective on your situation can motivate you to achieve your goals while helping you weather bad news, learn from your mistakes, and fortify your friendships.
• Scientists define self-esteem as the amount of value people place on themselves - an inherently subject assessment.
• High self-esteem seems to have at least one serious drawback: difficulty in seeing your own shortcomings. A great deal of research conducted for several decades shows that people with high self-esteem tend to have unrealistically high views of themselves.
• When they get negative feedback, they tend to be defensive, blaming the test or the messenger, rather than owning up to a mistake or deficiency.
• Putting your self-worth at the mercy of achievement creates emotional vulnerability to setbacks.
• This brought to mind one of my favorite quotes, "Never confuse having a career with having a life."
• While the pursuit of self-esteem has many negative consequences, it also serves an important purpose: motivating us to action. Without the urge to prove our worth, might we turn into slackers?
• There is a healthier approach, instead of focusing on our own status (however that is defined), we can focus on others or the collective good.
• As hard as my job is at times - I try to take satisfaction in knowing that I am helping the people who help others.
• By focusing on others, having self-compassion, or adopting a distanced view (seeing yourself from a third-party perspective), you can work toward your goals with constant self-evaluation and self-criticism. What a concept!
  
• The Science of Handwriting
• What our hands do with a keyboard is very different than with pen and paper. For most people, typing becomes automatic after a few months of instructions. Learning the precise geometries that make up handwritten characters, however, takes years.
• A central property of handwriting: it unifies hand, eye, and attention at a single point in space and time. Typing on a keyboard, breaks the unity.
• The so-called Common Core standards, a set of guidelines issued in 2010 to unify state curricula in the U.S., has set off a national discussion about handwriting's place in school.
• Much of the discussion involves cursive education, which went unmentioned in the standards, leading to its formal abandonment by Indiana and Florida.
• The ensuing backlash prompted eight states, including California and a chastened Indiana to affirm cursive's importance.
• While I could have done with Mrs. Pagorek in 5th grade telling me that my cursive "x" was done incorrectly, EVERY TIME. I am grateful that I can read/write in cursive as there is something special about taking a pen to paper. 
• I also like the individuality that handwriting provides - there is nothing unique about a computer print out. It takes the personalization out of correspondence, which is already vanishing from social etiquette again much to my chagrin.
• There are scientific studies, however, that back up the importance of writing words to help with recall and learning - hopefully it will still be taught in our schools for years to come. I, personally, would be willing to give up Geometry in favor of handwriting lessons. My own bias, of course.

The last two articles that I want to highlight both fall within the field of Mental Health:

• Listening to Voices - Adapted from a talk at TED in Long Beach, California in February, 2013.
• Eleanor began to hear the Voice in her second semester of undergraduate studies. She was eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia, which brought the full burden of social disapproval on her shoulders, and initiated a downward spiral  into despair and hopelessness.
• She was encouraged to see the Voice as a symptom rather than an experience, which intensified her fear and resistance. She was engaged in a psychic civil war. 
• She now sees the voices as a solution, an inextricable part of the healing process that drew attention to emotional conflicts she needed to deal with as she had significant, unresolved childhood trauma.
• There is evidence that a proportion of the 1.5 million people who are diagnosed each year with schizophrenia are not victims of chemical imbalance or genetic mutation. Rather they are exhibiting a complex response to abuse, loss, neglect, or past trauma.
• Eleanor earned her psychology degree with high honors 10 years after the voice first came, a year later her master's degree also with highest honors, and she is currently in the final year of her PhD. In her words, "not bad for a mad woman."
• As a doctor once told her, "Don't tell me what other people have told you about yourself...tell me about you. What if we could share with others a healthy view of ourselves, instead of what we have been told...
  
  
• Clutter, Clutter Everywhere
• As an avid follower of American Pickers on History, I am quite fascinated by collectors (which really strike me as varying degrees/types of hoarders). I have never been able to watch the TLC show, Hoarders.
• Hoarding disorder appears to be present in between 2 and 5 percent of the population, making it more prevalent than schizophrenia. It afflicts men and woman in about equal numbers.
• Many laypeople believe that clinical hoarders are too lazy to discard their junk or that they enjoy living with it. Neither of these assumptions appear to be true.
• Most experts have long believed that extreme hoarding is a variant of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Recent research suggests that the ailment may stem from an exaggerated version of a basically adaptive tendency to accumulate materials that are important to us.
• The American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic manual (DSM-5), published this past May, for the first time included pathological hoarding as a distinct condition. It is characterized by extreme and enduring difficulties parting with possessions even if they have no tangible value.
• No one knows why hoarders hoard, which is part of why it is challenging to treat. 
• Interestingly, the behavior is present in a  host of species, including honeybees, crows, rodents, and monkeys. This observation raises the possibility that the condition reflects a naturally selected urge to stockpile resources for times of scarcity.
• With the formal recognition of hoarding disorder in the DSM-5, research into causes of pathological hoarding will likely increase, and with it, the promise of more effective therapies.

I continue to be fascinated each time I go off the path. My next venture takes me into the triathlon world in the form of a magazine that is different than the one to which Danny is subscribed. Perhaps it will help broaden my view of Danny's hobby/interest that shows no sign of diminishing - in fact he is looking for ways to do good for others through the Ironman. I am proud to think that he is looking for his own ways to do good for others as he and I are quite fortunate. Plus Fireman Rob's altruism may have been contagious - I think Danny caught it.

Football Friday from On Her Game - Defenses on the Field in Washington about as “Effective” as Congress

http://flic.kr/p/9HqSxw

Here is the latest installment of Football Friday for On Her Game  in which I struggled to come up with a title for public consumption. My first thought was, "Bears Lose in Washington, Republican Style," but that felt a little too partisan for a forum such as this one. So I cleaned it up as best I could to be, "Defenses on the Field in Washington about as “Effective” as Congress." The picture also accurately describes my current feelings toward the Bears and our elected officials as I am pretty sure she is saying, oh my!

Regardless of which side of the political aisle one resides, I believe we can all come together to say that the recent shutdown was not an effective decision especially for those directly affected by it. “A new national poll conducted after the end of the partial government shutdown indicates that approval rating for Congress remains near an all-time low.”

The defensive units from both the Washington Redskins and my Chicago Bears seemed to be taking a page out of Congress’s book in an effort to be as ineffective as possible with the Redskins eking out a win in the shootout 45-41. I find myself trying to understand how a team that looked so solid and exciting just a few short weeks ago, can be called nothing short of an enigma. When was the last time that one would say the DEFENSIVE side of the ball is the liability for the Bears?

I recognize and concede that things change quickly in the NFL; it is the nature of a 17 week (16 games) regular season schedule. Football is also an extremely physical sport, which brings about injuries that can quickly become season ending or at least take a chunk out of a player’s season. For instance, both Lance Briggs and Jay Cutler have been declared out four to six weeks each with a fracture in his shoulder and a torn groin (ouch, even as a woman, I say OUCH) respectively. The Bears D has already been decimated by injuries, especially to the front four, providing an explanation to the anemic (or perhaps non-existent) run-defense.

As Michael Wright of ESPN.com states, “…as the Redskins, led by quarterback Robert Griffin III, shredded the Bears for 499 yards, including 209 on the ground.”

I would call that defensive play non-existent, especially since establishing a solid run-game opens up the whole field by being forced to respect the play action. While I was happy to see my man Peppers was found contributing seven tackles, or as Michael Wright said in a separate article, “showed up on the stat sheet.”

There are just individual weeks, such as this one, that can quickly morph into seasons in which it is hard to be a Bears fan. Just when the offense seems to be getting their smear together, putting up 41 points in a game, due in large part to an exceptional performance by back-up Josh McCown who ended the day with a passer rating of 119.6. Not to mention Devin Hester contributed by lighting the Redskins up for a punt return for a touchdown, tying Deion Sanders’ NFL record for return touchdowns. Since when is 41 points not enough for the Bears to win a game?

Brandon Meriweather could be called the John Boehner (Speaker of the House) of the Washington Redskins as he was suspended yesterday for two games following two personal foul penalities including a helmet to helmet hit on Alshon Jeffery and then heaving himself at Brandon Marshall. Many say Boehner among others is hurting the image of the GOP while Meriweather hurt his team with costly penalties and now a starting safety.

Right around the time that the Federal Budget comes up for review again, it will be playoff time in the NFL. The goal would be to see the Bears make a deep run into the playoffs, as well as a healthier display of bipartisan efforts by our elected governmental officials.

Here’s hoping.

Ten on Tuesday: Ten Things THIS WOMAN Needs to Stop Doing

 I am going to try to get back on track with the Ten on Tuesday series. I recently came across an article from HuffPost Women entitled, "23 Things Every Woman Should Stop Doing." Not every item applied to me, but there were (at least) 10 that really resonated with me. Each item is in bold along with selected notes from the article. My own oratory is provided in green.

Summary: I am a work in progress. I hope, perhaps, that you are too. 

1. Apologizing all the time. Research has shown that women actually do say sorry more often than men. ... There's no need to qualify everything you do. Own your preferences and decisions.
   
   
   I am an over-apologizer. I had a boss at one point who was really trying to get me to stop apologizing, especially when it was not my fault. There was an incident in which my co-worker and I set off the morning alarm because she arrived late. My boss had to come deal with it. I did not apologize - since I had not done anything wrong. She took me aside later to say that she was proud of me for not apologizing. I am trying.
   
   
2. Saying "yes" to everyone else. Stop saying "yes" when you don't truly mean it. People actually respect you more when you set boundaries.
   
   
   It is extremely difficult for me to say no. I feel as though I am letting someone, somewhere down by not doing what is asked of me. After many years of stretching myself far too thin I am coming to terms with the fact that I cannot be everything to everyone at all times. This is also where personal resentment builds up at which time I am not very good to anyone. Trust me, the irony is not lost there... The point is, I am trying to find more of a balance of saying "yes" because I want to, not because I have to.
   
   
3. Saying "no" to yourself. Don't allow your insecurities and anxieties to make your decisions for you - you'll only end up missing out on worthwhile experiences. 
   
   
   This one ties directly to number seven. I turned down a teaching position in a Chicago area school because I was too scared to take it. I miss teaching most every day. Yet I like the life that has been created by me/for me regardless of that decision. Still, I have tried to learn from it by not making the same mistake more than once. Moving over a 1,000 miles away from my life in Indiana was a step in that direction.
   
   
4. Viewing food as the enemy. Women often receive the message that our ultimate worth lies in our looks. In the quest to achieve unrealistic goals, it's easy to see food as something to contend with rather than enjoy. Be cognizant of what you put in your body - after all, it's the only one you have - but try to do away with the guilt.
   
   
   Oh, food. I have such a weird relationship with food. I have put on weight that is not helpful toward my quest for number five. I am on a journey to find a healthy body image, and something that is attainable and then sustainable. 
   
   
5. Body-snarking - out loud or in your own head. Stop putting your looks down, period. 
   
   
   I am the queen of body-snarking, which is not a source of pride. In my head, and often out-loud, I find myself asking if I look like a chunky-monkey. My teenage awkward phase lasted well into my 20s, and still sneaks in to my early 30s. I am blessed to have a husband who tells me how beautiful he thinks I am, but I need to be more willing to say that for myself about myself. If only I could get my complexion to acknowledge I am in fact no longer going through puberty - enough with the pimples, seriously!
   
   
6. Comparing your real life to someone else's virtual one. Spending a ton of time obsessing over your own online life can be anxiety-provoking - but so can obsessing over other peoples' virtual personas. Research has shown that Facebook addiction is correlated with lower self-esteem. 
   
   
   I think part of my struggle with a virtual presence has to do with not feeling photogenic, and coveting other people's experiences There are just some people who either don't take a bad picture or just have the good sense not to post it. I also know that I am never going to get everything that I want to do, and that's okay. I am going to do my best while simultaneously living vicariously through other people. Such as my girlfriend who is moving to Maui. I don't think vicarious living gets any better than that one! 
   
   
   I also try to remember that someone reminded me that based on what he sees on Facebook - he thinks I have a good, fun life. I do. So I want to focus on that fact.
   
   
7. Holding on to regrets and guilt. Guilt and regret are two emotions that usually serve to torture the person feeling them. Acknowledge your regrets and guilts, and then move on to the best of your ability.
   
   
   I have already shared one of my biggest regrets that I am trying so hard to let go of - still on some level a daily process. I am also working to let go of resentment. Let it go, Laurie. Say it with me...
   
   
8. WebMD-ing everything. Step away from the internet doctor and go see a real one if you're 
   truly worried.
   
   
   Before I was diagnosed with pronounced reflux I spent a lot of time on WebMD. Then once that issue was resolved and the esophageal spasms set in, I would spend even more time trying to diagnose myself. First of all, every ailment I described based on the fact that I was a woman would return a diagnoses that I was pregnant. Oh your foot hurts and you're female - I must be pregnant.  Regardless of this ridiculousness, I have expended a lot of nervous energy trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Fortunately, my in-person doctor helped me out, for real. Without even considering I was pregnant. 
   
   
9. Being embarrassed about your interests. If you love girly things, love girly things. If you don't, don't. If there's a particular subject area that you don't know about but you encounter someone who does, take the opportunity to ask questions.
   
   
   It is no secret that I love sports, but is it also known that I love the theater and museums and art and so many other aspects of culture? I was raised to have a variety of interests, and I am forever grateful for the exposure to different culture aspects. I recently received a box from my grandparents through my dear aunt of over 20 Shirley Temple VHS tapes. I love Shirley Temple! I cannot wait until I can get Danny to hook up the VCR that also came in the box. I also love old black and white movies, musicals, and museums. While I don't always understand art, I still like to go and escape into the piece before me. 
   
   
   I often tailor my topics of discussion to the person that I am talking with - very chameleon like at times. I love passion - even if it is about something I do not completely understand, if someone is passionate (or even not), I want to hear about it. Except perhaps Economics as Professor Witte (who was not at all witty) may have ruined that forever.
   
   
10. Setting deadlines for major life events. Don't try to meticulously plan out when you should find love or have babies or get your dream job or buy that amazing brownstone. Enjoy the uncertainty of life and allow yourself to be overjoyed when you hit those milestones or pleasantly surprised when you realize you want to skip out on some of them all together.
    
    
    Holy-moly. You know that I am a planner. Still, I have begrudgingly accepted that I cannot in fact plan every aspect of my life. I did not plan to re-connect with Danny and marry him. I did not plan to come to Denver six plus years ago. I did not plan for us to move to Lakewood. And look how well those decisions have turned out. 

Honorable Mention

• Fearing being alone. There are certain things you have control over - like trying to go on dates, and actively meeting new people - and others which you simply don't. There are far worse things than being alone.

About a month before Danny and I started dating (for real this time), I broke up with the first boyfriend I had had in over three years. I went on a few random dates, but I was not in a relationship for an extended period of time. This was one of the best things I could have done for myself as I realized that I was okay by myself. I have also come to realize that I do not have a fear of loneliness, but rather isolation. Now that Danny and I are married, I find this fear is even more pronounced. Danny and I cannot be everything for each other - it is important to us that each of us have outside interests. Of course there is overlap, but I like that we can be away from each other as needed/wanted. I am grateful that we have a life outside of this house, and that each of us can travel separately when the situation calls for it. Finding a balance that works for us separately and together is a work in progress. Still, I appreciate that both of us are committed to looking for it. 

Football Friday from On Her Game - Julius Peppers, Where are You?

Here is the latest installment of Football Friday for On Her Game  where I ask the question, Julius Peppers, Where are You? I look past the fact that he is a Tar Heel, and wear his jersey with pride!

In March, 2010 that year’s most coveted free agent became a Chicago Bear. l remember how excited I was at the acquisition – both in that the McCaskey Family had spent some real money, and also the thought of having another marquee player on an already potent defense. The following Christmas, my then-boyfriend (now husband) bought me a Julius Peppers jersey of my very own. He also surprised me with one for the fur-child, my pug Spike. He rocks the Peppers jersey with great pride, especially since he has quite the strut under normal circumstances.

I like to bust out the “double Peppers representation” for especially big games, or really just when the mood strikes. Last Thursday seemed like the right moment, a celebration that I was going to be able to see a full Bears game, rather than just the highlights. Since my misguided Colts/Broncos loving husband only bought me the jersey because he lost a bet I am convinced the jersey has good “ju-ju.” Right about now it feels as though Peppers can use all the help he can get with a mere eight tackles (five solo), one sack, and one forced fumble thus far in the 2013 season. 

This has many people wondering if at 33 years old, is Julius Peppers slowing down? According to this Sunday’s opponent, Trent Williams of the Washington Redskins, absolutely not!

“I don’t see a difference,” Williams said. “He’s still a disruption in the backfield. Maybe production goes down but that’s because everyone keys on him. And the [Bears'] line is banged up so it allows you to send extra guys to his side.” 

Williams has already seen his fair-share of difficult matchups this season with the Cowboys, DeMarcus Ware and Green Bay’s Clay Matthews. Still, Peppers is the kind of player that will also keep guys up at night.

“It’s Julius Peppers, man,” Williams said. “It doesn’t get too much harder than that. He’s definitely one of those guys that stays on your mind until after the game.”

Peppers will always have a strong foundation to elicit this type of fear with over 110 career sacks and more than 35 forced fumbles. Still, the Julius who has been playing in the games of late has been quiet, way too quiet. Lately it feels as though when an announcer calls out Julius Peppers, it is to make a comment about how he has not done much this quarter, half, or even game.

Do I think Peppers should be benched? NO! Should his playing time be reduced? Perhaps. Still, as Williams identified, the Bears’ line is hurting, so who is going to step in to play defensive end if Julius is relegated to the sideline. The injuries at the tackle position are not doing Peppers any favors, but perhaps at the ripe age of 33 (sadly, not much older than me), it may be time to admit that he could be on the what should be a slow end to an illustrious career.

The overarching concern, however, is the big plays that have been given up on the defensive side of the ball. This all starts with giving a quarterback way too much time to find someone open, or allowing a receiver to get that far down field. Even if RGIII is not 100% he is not a quarterback to be given time to figure things out.

BEAR DOWN Bears defensive, especially you, Julius Peppers! I will be wearing your jersey with pride on Sunday, and I will do my very best to get Spike in his too.

Why Can I Change my Name and Location, but not my Team(s)?

I have been a Colorado (Denver) Transplant since May, 2007. During which time I have adopted Spike, moved four times, changed my phone number, bought a Subaru (the "un-official/official" State Car of Colorado), and gotten married. At no time have I even remotely let go of my Chicago team allegiances. I did, however, change my name.

Let's start with the name change. Early on in the iteration of my talking with Danny that actually stuck, I made an off-hand remark that if I were to get married and change my name I would like it to be something simple that could not be mispronounced or misspelled. His response, well I guess you cannot marry me. Since his last name begs to be both misspelled and mispronounced while simultaneously receiving a comment about how cool it is... The typical response I would get to my maiden name, is are you related to Val? So in that respect it has been a nice shift. 

When I began to realize that our relationship was getting serious, I started to give some actual thought to changing my name. Initially I balked - explaining that it was going to be a pain to change my name, but more importantly I had been me with my name for nearly 30 years so it was not going to be an easy emotional shift either. Still, Danny persisted, helping me to understand how important it was to him. Plus if we were to have children, they would have his name and having parents with different last names could create a problem. 

Then I started thinking about a comment from my Grandmom somewhere along the way. Both my grandmothers graduated from college at a time that not many women were receiving higher levels of education. For that and many more reasons, when they would say things to me, I tried to listen. She once told me that perhaps feminists ruined chivalry. I understood what she was saying to be that the actions of men that were once so common place have been denigrated by women to the point that younger generations do not necessarily do them anymore. For instance, opening a door for a lady, helping her off with her coat, etc. While I am fully capable of opening my own door, taking off my coat, sometimes it is still nice to have it done. Yet, I like a balance of Danny opening  the door, and me getting the next one. I also took this comment to mean that perhaps it would be okay for me to change my name; while it may be seen as old-fashioned, I liked that Danny wanted me to take his name. Having two sisters, my family's name will end with my Dad, but I did not see how me not taking Danny's name would prolong it per se. Plus it was the first of what I am sure will be many, many, many compromises in the course of our marriage. My maiden name became my middle name as I had no particular attachment to Ann. The only time I regret that decision is on boarding passes since my middle name only comes out as six letters - leaving off the crucial "r."

So why is it that I can change my name and move a thousand miles away from my family; but I cannot let go of my Bears, White Sox, and Duke basketball allegiances? It's pretty simple - I equate these teams with my family,  in my head it's what helps close the distance between us. We rooted for teams together as a family - no really, all of us. My first baseball game and team was the Philadelphia Phillies, which is why when we moved to Chicago my Dad chose to root for the White Sox because they were in the American League versus the Cubs in the National League with the Phillies. I am convinced I am a better person because of it. I will never forget going to see the White Sox play countless times with just my Dad or with the whole family. I remember one game in particular that was super windy to the point that my Dad's hat started to fly into the street. After he tracked it down, he said only real fans come to games like this! I was a real fan! There was a Father's Day gift from my Mom for my Dad, sisters, and me to see the White Sox play the Cubs in the Crosstown Classic. I also remember a Baltimore Orioles game at Camden Yards with my whole family and my Mom's extended family sitting down the first-base line in which we were close enough to be in foul ball territory. I was responsible for telling my Mom-Mom when we especially needed to watch out for a foul ball coming toward us. Baseball is a critical part of so many of my family memories.

Our wedding at Coors Field officially solidified my National League team being the Colorado Rockies. I have some how managed to rationalize to myself that the baseball season is so long that I am "allowed" to have two teams. It's pretty amazing how I can twist things in my own head to make them work for me. 

I did not really start watching football until we moved to Indiana when I was eight years old. I would always ask who my Dad was rooting for, and root with him. By then he was a devout Bears fan - so I was too. My sisters also enjoyed cheering on the Bears to varying degrees with the youngest coming on in the last couple years as she has become successful in the family fantasy football league. While the Bears have caused much heartbreak over the last 23 years, I cannot imagine rooting for anyone else. I recently received an email from my Dad saying that I should consider the Broncos as my AFC team. So this past Sunday as I watched Denver beat up on Jacksonville, even if it was not the extent many people thought, I could not get excited. While I have long admired Champ Bailey, thus the reason I have his jersey in my closet, the Broncos just do not evoke the same level of connection and emotion that the Bears do.

Now, rooting for Duke basketball is truly a full family affair! My Dad went there for undergrad, and we were all raised to root for them! I have  a picture of myself at about two years old with a cast on my arm, a nurse's hat, and a Duke t-shirt. There is also a story of a family friend coming over to watch the Duke game with us. I was about four or five, and I came out to ask if Abdelnaby was going to play in the game. Shortly thereafter, my Mom came in and asked the same question. The friend was quite impressed by how much the "women of the house" knew about Duke basketball. No, I mean it when I say the whole family roots for them. My grandparents like to talk Duke as well when they're in season. Even after going to a school with it's own rich basketball tradition (Indiana University - HOOSIERS!), I still root for Duke. Although with the hiring of Tom Crean a few seasons back, it has once again been fun to be a Hoosier! So now I have two college teams in separate conferences - while I have not completely reconciled it in my own mind, I make it work because I want it to. My sisters and I were taught to take pride in our education and the schools that we attended. 

Finally, I realized that my switching my football allegiances to align with Danny's would throw a wrench in our relationship dynamic. No, really hear me out. I once dated a guy who was also a fan of the Bears and White Sox. Oh my, I missed the healthy debate and competition. A little smack talk every now and again only raises the fun factor. Members of my family have called Danny the worst sports fan ever because he appears to switch teams like most people change shirts. Really in fairness to him, just as I have my own rationale, he reasons that as a fan of Peyton Manning he has followed him to the Broncos while maintaining a following of the Colts. Although truth be told, I was sitting with him at a Broncos game when he jumped on the Tebow bandwagon - oh the horror! Again, back to being fair. He has become quite the baseball fan, which is a relief since when I first met him he said he hated baseball including going to three baseball games in five days in three different states back in September. Plus he recently told me that he is listening to Mike&Mike on the drive in to work so that he can have an intelligent sports conversation with me at night. That warmed my heart more than a little bit. 

I truly do love being a Colorado Transplant. To be completely honest, it is hard to imagine myself living anywhere else. I miss my family, friends, the lemon rice soup only found in the Region of Indiana, and of course Tastykakes that are only found on the East Coast. Yet, I have also tried to embrace what Colorado has to offer, and hope to continue for years to come especially getting a lot more use of the nice road bike I bought myself. Regardless of my love for Denver and Colorado, I just do not ever see myself giving up my Bears and White Sox. Perhaps next year I will have saved up for NFL Sunday Ticket from DirecTV. The fact that such a product exists leaves me to believe I am not the only one who cannot let go of his/her home teams. 

Football Friday from On Her Game - Brandon Marshall Raises Performance Level and Awareness

http://flic.kr/p/bDe9Rd

Since I already write about my Bears for On Her Game, I thought I would have those posts do double duty by starting a series called, "Football Friday." Here is my latest article on Brandon Marshall and Mental Illness Awareness. Hope you'll come back next week, or check out the site to see other talented female writers talking about sports and off the field issues. I am proud to be a part of it!

This week’s Thursday Night game had the Chicago Bears (3-2) facing off against the winless New York Giants. After losing two in a row following a strong 3-0 start, the Bears needed a solid win in order to get back on track as the NFC North is shaping up to be a tough division. And win they did, one that saw Eli Manning throw three interceptions, two of which went to Tim Jennings including a pick six, as well a solid showing by Jay Cutler and his number one receiver, Brandon Marshall. As much as I enjoyed Marshall’s nine receptions for 87 yards and two touchdowns, except on a fantasy football level since this week’s foe (my middle sister, Denise) has Marshall on her team; what I really loved were his bright green shoes! Yes, his shoes.

It is worth mentioning that I do not usually notice what the players are wearing, the exception being the pink apparel each October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but it was pretty hard to miss these shoes. In case anyone somehow missed the bright alien looking things on his feet, Brad Nessler explained that Marshall was ready for the fine that would be forthcoming from the NFL, but also assured everyone that it was for a good cause. This comment was immediately followed by a cliffhanger commercial break and an anti-climactic kick-off to the Giants (it was kneeled down in the end zone for a touchback) before they came back to the story.

Following suit, I will take this moment to explain that October 6-13 is National Mental Illness Awareness Week. In my “non-sports fan life”, my job is working in mental health administration so I am keenly aware of both the importance of seeking help and treatment for any type of mental health concern, as well as the unfortunate negative stigma that is still attached to such afflictions. Another key aspect to the story of the shoes is in July, 2011 Brandon Marshall went public with the news that he had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Since that time Marshall has been very vocal about the diagnosis, the disease itself, and the positive impact that treatment has made in his life both personally and professionally.

The Brandon Marshall Project Borderline was created as on offshoot to the Brandon Marshall Foundation. PROJECT BORDERLINE is a nonprofit organization devoted to raising awareness for Borderline Personality Disorder and helping others gain access to the resources that they need to recover. Our mission is to:

•SPREAD THE WORD about BPD, a serious illness that affects a significant percentage of the population

•FIGHT STIGMA that for so long has been unfairly tied to this diagnosis

•EDUCATE people so they know the facts of the disorder, which is very treatable and has a favorable long-term prognosis

•ADVOCATE for the passage of legislation to support our cause

•REACH OUT to those who may not know what they're suffering from or may not know what resources are available to help them

•BRIDGE THE GAP between patients, clinicians, and the public, and

•CHANGE the face and the future of this disorder so that those who have suffered in silence, who spent years of their lives feeling trapped by their own emotions, and who once thought that they had reached a place beyond hope will have the opportunity to build a better life for themselves.

The project’s website also provides an Introduction to BPD, “BPD can hinder an individual’s attempt to function at even the most basic levels, while also negatively impacting friends and family members of the person suffering from it.”

Now back to Brad Nessler’s commentary. As had already been mentioned Brandon Marshall was expecting a fine for going against the NFL’s dress code policy, but in addition to paying the fine Marshall is going to match it through a donation to his own charity, as well as one working toward a cure for breast cancer. He wants to split it because both mental illness and cancer diagnoses can seriously impact individuals and their families. See I told you it was for a good cause!

I found it heart-warming and refreshing that an athlete who pre-diagnosis was known for extremely erratic behavior, both on and off the field, is now making such a positive impact to try to help others afflicted with such a difficult disorder. Perhaps this is a strong, albeit neon green, step toward breaking the negative stigma associated with Mental Illness.

Next week, bring on the Washington Redskins, in what should be a “win-able” game so that the Bears can go into their bye week sitting strong at 6-2.

140.6 Miles, His Words

The Specifics:

When: September 8, 2013

Where: Madison, Wisconsin

What: 2.4 Mile Swim; 112 Mile Bike; 26.2 Mile Run

Why: ... The world may never know.

Pre-Race

After dropping Laurie off for a work meeting, I went to check-in for the race. Walking into the expo area was an amazing sight - a combination of cool to see, but also overwhelming. I realized this was the first time all week (or all year for that matter) that I was nervous about the race. The check-in was smooth and quick as I missed much of the crowd. I got my Ironman Wisconsin backpack out of the deal. This alone probably made the whole registration fee worth while. I then went to the gift shop to drop more money on Ironman related merchandise - yes, Laurie was thrilled, especially since I forgot to get her a t-shirt. My excuse was the narcissist in me wanted the t-shirt with my name on it. After walking around the expo center, I went to see the finish line where people were already posing for pictures. Although I only wanted a picture of myself there "for real," it felt like bad ju-ju to do it ahead of time. I way underestimated how long all this would take as I suddenly found myself with a good four hours or so before Laurie would be done. Read: The hotel room was in her name... This was the start of my Facebook overposting or #OVERPOSTER. 

I highly recommend taking a trip to Downtown Madison. A very beautiful city with a sense of history exuding from their buildings, and the surrounding lakes (especially Lake Monona) was a beautiful, calming sight to see. Over the next couple days I tried to take it easy with a short swim on a windy day, which turned out to be beneficial the day of the race (more on that in a moment). Mentally, one of the hardest aspects of the whole process was the sudden drop-off from working out 15-18 hours per week to barely 15 minutes per day. The day before the race I got so stir crazy that I asked Laurie and her family to go miniature golfing with me as a needed diversion. Then, I won.

Day Of

Laurie and I are both heavy sleepers so between the two of us we set no less than six alarms hoping one of them would wake someone up. The nerves of the morning, however, woke me up two minutes before my alarm (which was set for 3:30 AM). Yes, I felt cheated, being that I had a long day ahead so I needed those two minutes! And so did Laurie... After a snafu with the hotel kitchen and breakfast, where a riot of angry Ironman athletes nearly ensued because the cook forgot to show up, I got dressed and ready for the day. I also probably woke up the rooms around me as I was jamming out to MGMT to get myself pumped up. Hey if I was awake, everyone should be up, right? I managed to eat a bagel with a light amount of cream cheese and two Slimfast drinks. The latter has been a morning staple for the last year, which is probably why there are still about 10 in the fridge right now that will probably never be consumed. After a short shuttle ride, that I almost did not know about because the hotel staff neglected to inform me required a sign up, my special needs bags (one per segment that for me only included coconut water) were dropped off in front of a Starbucks. I later found the store was actually open, but for the first time in my life I was without a wallet. Laurie wishes this would happen more often... 

Fueled by coffee withdrawals I filled up my water bottles, and tried to mentally prepare for the race. When you have 3,000 nervous athletes and not a lot of places to sit you have to get creative on where you go. I found a spot just off the helix, (on a normal day this is the ramp for the cars to enter/exit the parking garage of the Convention Center), that was quiet, with only a couple other athletes around. One of which happened to be one of the professional athletes. He was friendly and offered valuable advice, which really had a calming affect on me in that moment. Not many sports afford you the opportunity to race side by side with a professional let alone allow one the chance to have a candid conversation 20 minutes before the start. One comment that especially stuck with me was not to think of it as a race, since the goal for many first-timers is to finish, but rather see it as just another training day with 3,000 of your closest friends. 

Shortly thereafter we heard the announcement that we needed to start funneling down to the water. We both said good-bye and good luck, and he said see you out there to which I "encouragingly"replied, if you see me out there, something has gone terribly wrong for you! 

The Swim

The swim at Ironman Wisconsin is an "in the water" mass start. It takes about 30 minutes to get all the athletes funneled through this eight foot wide timing mat. This works as a check-in and check-out of the water to be sure that everyone is accounted for at the end of the swim. Let's not have anyone drown or anything. I blew some air into my wet suit creating a buoyancy effect that allowed me to float on my back for about 20 minutes. No need to expend any unnecessary energy beforehand. The professionals (pros) go off about 10 minutes before the age-groupers, and after they left there is a countdown of 5 minutes, 4 minutes, etc. Just in case you're not nervous as it is... And before you know it the gun goes off and chaos ensues. Think of yourself as a fish in a commercial fishing net, constantly being bumped and knocked around with no where to go; thrashed, kicked, punched, and occasionally you see clear water just to again be kicked, punched, and thrashed. Never before in an open water swim have I ever experienced that feeling of knowing there is just NO WHERE TO GO! One of the traditions for Ironman Wisconsin is letting out a "moo" at the first left turn on the swim. Of course I had to keep with tradition again in fear of bad ju-ju. This was also the point where I realized that in the midst of getting thrashed and/or kicked and/or bumped, someone had turned off my stop watch. Let this be a lesson learned, turn the watch off the chrono setting (stop-watch setting). Or I could choose to think that I made REALLY good time on that part of the swim, as if no time had passed at all. As I worked around the never-ending back stretch, it was hard to sight the buoys because of the waves. Eventually I made it around, went across the timing mat, and got out of the water 15 minutes slower than I had expected. Not too bad considering the body shots I took throughout those 2.4 miles, especially during the start. While a mass start looks cool for the spectators it sucks to be in one. 

The Bike

By normal triathlon standards, the transition time is crazy long due to the overall distance between the finish of the swim to the mounting of the bike. It was close to 6/10 of a mile, which only adds to the 140.6 total distance traveled. The start of the bike is winding back and forth with no straight-aways for nearly 10 miles taking you on 10 different roads. 

In general the bike course is quite hilly, you're either going up or going down, no real flat terrain. The route was laid out like a lollipop - you go out and do the top of the lollipop twice and back down the stick. The first lap felt good, I was keeping my heart rate low while also maintaining the pace I wanted. Yet the hills really do take it out of you. A lot of spectators were present for the first lap, my favorite of which were the handful of 20-year old guys wearing nothing but pink bikini bottoms. One with the comment, "if you're not enjoying this you need to ride faster!" I later found out Laurie and her family were there too, but somehow did not stand out, probably because they had all their clothes on. 

One of my favorite aspects of the bike course was along each of the three major hills, were "Tour de France style spectators" running along side you, ringing their (now annoying!) cow bells, and cheering you on!

Unfortunately, on the bike, I saw several crashes take place. Most were caused by mental errors, and poor judgement. One guy blew out his knee, another broke his collarbone, and one woman simply declared that she hated this and was DONE! I would not have wanted to be on the receiving end of that phone call. 

Most of the bike course, I was pretty zoned out as that took a majority of my day (nearly 7 hours in total). There is no greater feeling than seeing the capital building, which meant I only had a couple miles left on the bike before it was on to the run. In an evil twist of planning in order to transition from the bike to run I had to ride back up the damn helix, which may not sound like much. Still after 112 miles on an already hilly course, it was a cruel little incline!

The Run

Here comes major mental error #1! While most people would claim that was signing up for this torture (aka an Ironman) in the first place I, the masochist, would disagree. No my first mistake was not putting Vaseline on my feet before starting out on the run. I did this for every training leading up to the Ironman, but in the cluster(bleep) of transition, I forgot. While this may not sound like a big deal, I can assure you (and Laurie will back me up) the huge blisters that formed on my feet would say otherwise. 

The run course started uphill, which caused the first problem of the marathon portion - shin splints. If you have never had the pleasure (read: pain) - it feels like your shin bone is going to pop out of your leg at any moment. This was a new experience for me, and one I could do without for future training/running. The shin splints continued for the first four miles or so, and eventually after some stretching they subsided. Soon to be replaced by the wonderful blisters (plural), which soon took over the entire balls of my feet. 

From time to time I would get a bit of relief both from the blisters and also a downhill portion of the course thus allowing me to pick up the pace from time to time. Sadly the run course was annoyingly similar to the bike course in that it was either up or down although I did get to run on the University of Wisconsin football field. This was a neat experience both because it was a unique opportunity but also because the ground was really, really soft (and the only flat part on the entire course)!

I also had plenty of time to perfect the Ironman shuffle (part run, part walk). Laurie's sister Stephanie had a lot of fun picking out the best Ironman shuffles. This was also about the time when I confessed what I had done to a fellow athlete - the one that Laurie wanted to hug because she understood that signing up for an Ironman the week of our wedding and then training our entire first year of marriage was pure lunacy. She also advised me to hold on to Laurie for as long as possible. Shortly thereafter we said our goodbyes and I found a burst of speed. At that point I had about 3.5 miles left to go, which just may have well been a thousand since my feet were absolutely screaming. It is kind of a weird sensation, barely able to walk let alone run, but knowing I still had to go that distance in order to finish the race. So I shifted my mindset to smaller goals, making it to the next turn, covering a hundred yards, and eventually and surprisingly I did not notice that the finish was much closer than I realized. The capital building, a key landmark throughout the day, suddenly came into sight meaning I only had to go around that next curve. The crowd roaring and hearing the announcer saying "so and so, you are an Ironman!" provided the necessary motivation to finish. There are really no words to describe coming down the chute after a very, very long day knowing that everything that I had put myself through was finally coming to an end. 

It had been about 20 miles or so since I had seen Laurie and her family, then I caught a glimpse of Laurie and Stephanie just before I finished. While I had plenty of time to think what I would do when I actually crossed the line, all I could think to do two steps before was put my hands up, my head down, and think, "man that kicked my ass!"

Once you cross the line you receive your finisher hat, t-shirt, and most importantly the medal. Multiple people asked if I knew where I was, what had I done, and did I need to go to the hospital. Fortunately, I did not. Eventually after getting my picture taken (again), they dump you out to find your loved ones. It was a wonderful experience to get the hug from  a teary-eyed Laurie. It had been a long day/year for her too. I also gave her parents and sister a hug just before they made their own journey back home, props Killmer family!

The After

140.6 miles, or the distance from Ohio through Indiana into Illinois. There are a lot of things that can go wrong in a 140.6 miles when you have to physically propel yourself that distance through by swimming, biking, and finally running. To cross the finish line at all was a huge accomplishment, and for those who did not finish a real disappointment to see a whole year of training thwarted by mechanical difficulty, medical conditions, or some other external circumstance. I consider myself very fortunate that the worst problems I had were shin splints and blisters.  I am also grateful for the well-wishes, positive thoughts, and those who supported me through this entire process. It meant the world to me to know I had so much encouragement the day of the race, as well as the days leading up to it. 

To answer the question you are probably thinking:

• Yes, I will do another one. 
• And YES, Laurie is okay with it, although I am not sure how she feels about more than one additional race.
• I learned a lot, and I want to put that knowledge to use in future Ironman race(s).

I need to finish with a special thank you to Laurie. I want to be sure I thank her for everything that she put up with for the past year, whether it be signing up the week before our wedding to all the little damn things I had to buy to do the race to the 4:30 alarms, which sometimes required additional encouragement to wake up. While the people who do the race make personal sacrifices, their families often sacrifice much more. I am happy we made it through this stressful time. She deserves the world for being my Ironmate. I even bought her the t-shirt to prove it. I love my wife.