I will be honest, I am that sappy hopeless romantic who loves Valentine's Day. Even when I did not have a significant other to spend that day with, I have been lucky enough to have someone special to be my Valentine. My Beth was my Valentine many a year, and she always made me feel loved. Isn't that what this holiday is supposed to be about? As the holiday approaches this year I find myself thinking a lot about relationships. Not just my relationship with Danny, but all the relationships in my life. I am no relationship expert, believe me; I just know that I am very blessed by the people in my life.
Yet, I also find myself mourning relationships lost over the years. I am horrible with break-ups of any sort, but I have come to realize that I cannot keep everyone forever. I did find a lot of comfort in this passage that a colleague of mine recently shared with me. He received it as he was mourning the death of a very dear friend.
Everyone Can’t be in Your Front Row
Life is a theatre - invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you? The more you seek God and the things of God – the more you seek things honorable – the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. You cannot change the people around you…but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the front row of your life.
-Author Unknown
We were talking about Valentine's Day at the baby shower on Friday. Barbara, from Poland, didn't know what XOXOXO meant at the end of people's cards, letters and posts, when she moved here. They have no such symbol or word to compare to it - not even hugs and kisses. And Valentine's Day is only celebrated between a couple in love, not EVERYONE. So it was an interesting awareness of how differently love is "demonstrated" culturally. The quote was great but I struggled with the second sentence a bit. I understand what the author is trying to communicate - your "inner circle" are those who you need to be able to trust - saying they need to be "holy" enough I'm interpreting as having similar faith values and healthy enough psychologically and emotionally stable - but I have learned that there are times when someone close to you suffers a crisis where we may be called to be their listener/encourager/helper where their health and faith have been compromised. But sometimes it is important to be aware of our role in a person's life, and therapist, nurse or doctor isn't my role if I don't have the training. All I'm called to do is love them. Maybe God has invited someone into my front row that will teach me a thing or two! :)
ReplyDeleteMom--
DeleteVery true; to take what you said one step further, I feel that the author is maybe saying that some people need to be moved to the 'balcony' when our own role becomes perpetually the helper, therapist, etc. It does become draining to not feel that this will be given in return if I ever need it. I also think it is impossibly to have this kind of intimate relationship with too many people, and that is OK...we just don't have enough energy to go around! :)