Time to Dump the Brain

A little yoga at sunset in Lake Tahoe. 
Yoga and brain dumping help me relax.

The inspiration for this post comes from a blog I follow called, The Blue-Eyed Bride.  Erin is the daughter-in-law of one of our board members.  It certainly gives me something to aspire to in my blogging.

For better or worse I carry a lot of information around in this brain of mine, and sometimes I just need to share random factoids.

Here goes -

...Six months after ordering it, I can finally say that I have the right veil!  And I think it's pretty.

...I discovered rainbow sherbet fudge in Palisade, Colorado.  It is so wonderful because it gives me the taste of sherbet without the temperature issue that my body can no longer tolerate.

...Three new states have been crossed off my list: Utah, Nevada, and California.  Posts on those trips to come once I have pictures.

...I wore a bikini for the first time in my adult life at the age of 30, stomach scars and all.  I have five scars on my stomach from my surgery a year and a half ago.  The surgery was for pronounced reflux, not gastric bypass as someone once asked me.

...I was told that I can pull off the denim jacket without looking like I am trying to bring back bad 80s fashion.  Phew!

...I have saved just about every card that has ever been written to me (no joke, I have the boxes in my closet to prove it).  Pre-Kindle, I use them as bookmarks.  I found out my Mom does the same thing. 

...I am getting a little tired of my sister Stephanie always being right about me and technology.  She told me to get an IPod Touch (love it), and insisted that I would love a Kindle too.  Well I do.  Then she got me hooked on the Hunger Games books!  Enough, Steph.  It's bad enough that Dad is usually right (about just about everything).

...My future mother-in-law is still talking about my Dad's Chinese Dinner from a few weeks ago.  I think it has become the official "in-law" dinner as the last time I had it was when we met Denise's in-laws.

...I love Danny for so many reasons, but the latest is him being supportive of my escaping reality to Lake Tahoe on a girls' weekend.  I was unsuccessful in bringing back a Lake Tahoe Starbucks mug.  I am still trying though, albeit from a distance.

...My White Sox have a half-game lead atop the AL Central!  As my Dad said, "who are these guys?!"

...Next week will mark three months to go until the wedding.  Oh my!  Denise tells me I am ready, which helps me feel a lot better. The invitations are going out next week, which I am pretty sure makes it official.

...Earlier this week, Danny showed me Venus making its way across the sun.  *Sssshhh don't tell*, I thought it was pretty neat. 

...I admitted to a group of people that the movie E.T. scared the living daylights out of my as a child to the point that I have never been able to watch it as an adult.

...Last night after months of waiting, Danny and I found out what happened to T.K. on Necessary Roughness (TV show on USA Network).  I love that show.

...Done (not really, but that's probably enough for you to take in).

Thanks for reading my random thoughts for today.  I look forward to sharing about trips, bridal showers, bachelorette party fun, and other such things in future posts.  I also realized that this is the longest I have ever maintained a New Year's Resolution - progress!

My Kind of Town - Denver

Well, a lot happened this past weekend on our trip to the Region.  NATO and the Pechie parents came to Chicago, a wonderful shower was thrown for Danny and me, we lost a very dear friend, and important news was shared that will affect the future of WPC.  OH, it was also my 5 year anniversary of living in Denver.  I thought it was rather fitting that I celebrated it in Chicago/Highland with lemon rice soup, and my Dad's Chinese cooking.

Before talking about Denver, I want to share a story of Gary Anderson.  For my high school graduation, he gave me a garden hose.  While I never got to use the hose (my parents put it to good use), it was still one of my favorite gifts.  You see when I was eight years old, my parents announced that we were moving from Philadelphia to Highland, Indiana.  As the story goes my initial response was that my parents would have to buy a hose!  In my eight year old head that was a pretty big freaking deal, forget moving half way across the country, a hose was their biggest concern!  I thought for sure it was going to stop us from moving.  *Spoiler alert*, it did not in fact deter my parents from moving.  I shared this story with the congregation at my Senior Sunday talk.  So at my graduation open house, Gary and Lois presented me with a hose and a note.  Something to the effect of, "while this did not stop you from moving here, we are glad you came."  Well I am sure glad we came too!  I am also blessed to have known Gary and his family.  He will be missed.

I did not have a choice about moving to Indiana, but look how good that turned out!  I did get to decide where I l have lived from that point forward.  I chose to attend Indiana University, I decided to move to Kokomo, Indiana three separate times, and five years ago this past Saturday, it was by my own volition that I got into my little car to make the 1,000 mile drive to Denver.  My parents and my worldly possessions followed the next weekend.  God bless my parents, they moved both Denise and me to Denver that year.  I am pretty sure I was scared to death, but at the same time I think I was ready for a new adventure.  I took comfort in the fact that a number of people told me they had always wanted to live in Denver.  Having only been to Denver twice before I moved, I had no idea whether or not I wanted to live here.  Still I had Denise and John and a job; that was good enough.  Well, five years later I can say it really has been the adventure I was hoping for, and that I know more people now.  I still don't ski, cannot/will not root for the Broncos, but I do drive a Subaru (the official state car of Colorado).  I also truly believe that I have done my part to make Denver Southwest Airline's fastest growing city, and so perhaps that cancels out that whole not rooting for the Broncos thing. 

Living in Denver may have also contributed to Danny and I getting back together.  He once told me that he would have moved anywhere to be with me.  Let's be honest here, I think it was a lot easier to ask him to move to Denver then say, Kokomo, Indiana.  Nothing against the lovely people of Kokomo, but the town just cannot compare to Denver.  Again, in the spirit of honesty it may have been Kansas that sealed the deal.  Danny never wants to drive through Kansas again, thus he is stuck here since Nebraska is not much better; and those are pretty much your only two options to get back to Indiana/Ohio.

I like to say that I came to Denver completely by accident without giving it too much thought.  I am pretty sure I could have thought my way out of it, but I truly believe God brought me here.  I look forward to the adventures that lay ahead for Danny and me, provided they don't kick me for not skiing or being a Broncos fan!  Perhaps getting married at Coors Field instead of US Cellular will help my cause.  GO SOX! 

It's the Incompleteness of the Ending!

Perhaps, the World's Only 20 Pound Paperweight

I have been a big ball of anxiety lately.  If pressed, I can pretty clearly tell you why; but I will spare you most of the details.  Instead I just want to talk about how I would like to go about fixing it.  This past Saturday morning I woke up with extreme pain in my neck, unable to turn my head or move my right arm.  It was the most annoying thing because I had a long list of to-dos.  Well, the Spike-Monster and I did a lot of laying around on Saturday into part of Sunday.  While he is a world-champion bum, I was going out of my mind.  I got bored with the television, I don't have a book yet for my Kindle, and I could not get my brain to stop working.  At some point I realized that I had a small stack of articles/miscellaneous readings that I had been saving for just such an occasion, apparently.  In fact, the bottom of the stack is an article dated October, 2007.  That means this particular article has moved with me to three different apartments in Denver, and I am glad to say it was worth holding on to.  More on that in a moment.

On the top of the stack was something I had saved because I really liked it, an Easter Sunday Sermon from The Rev. Gretchen Wilson Bretz.  Her husband, Paul is my colleague and one of the pastors marrying Danny and me.  It was entitled, "Witness to the Savior." 

The sermon starts by talking about the brevity of the resurrection story, as it is told by Mark's gospel.  For her, "it is not only the brevity (8 verses on the resurrection) that left her wanting more, it was the incompleteness of the ending!

'So they went out and fled from the tomb (that is Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome) for terror and amazement had seized them; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.'

What kind of ending was that; is it a cliff-hanger or a truncated ending?  What is it?  It is no wonder that over time a longer ending was added.  ...Mark didn't complete the resurrection story!  He left the ending open to us.  I wonder if that was intentional?  I wonder if he wanted us to write the ending?  The resurrection story is one that keeps going.  It keeps being written, in your life and in mine.  It is our story.  It is our ending and our beginning.  How will you, by God's grace, write the next chapter in your life?  What doors will you open?  What doors will you close?  How will the doors you open and the paths you walk lead to light, life, and grace?"

I suddenly found myself feeling a bit more  justified in my anxiety.  Right now the endings to my various sources of anxiety are very incomplete.  The biggest one being the wedding that Danny and I are trying to plan.  I hope that it is going to turn out well, but I am struggling to see the full picture of the wedding itself.  What I do not struggle with is knowing that at the end of that day in September, Danny and I will be husband and wife; something that elicits strong feelings of gratitude.  This leads me to that article from October, 2007, "How the New Science of Thank You Can Change Your Life".  It appears to have come from a large print Reader's Digest (thanks, Grandmom).   It is an excerpt of a book, Thank You Power.  The article starts out with a person who is rethinking everything in his life, and by the end of a seemingly mundane errand he found himself feeling thankful simply by counting things along the way that made him happy.    It goes on to talk about scientific studies that show how an attitude of gratitude can have all kinds of positive physical and physiological effects on a person.  "Gratitude is a discipline.  It may not come easily, but it can be developed." 

So as I laid there on the couch, held down by my stocky 19-20 pound Spikers, or as Danny calls him one of the greatest, living paper weights one can find, I started counting the things that I am thankful for/make me happy.  Here is a sample, in no particular order:

• My family and friends
• Danny loves me for who I am at this moment
• Spike
• A roof over my head
• My job/Danny's job
• The Orioles are on top of the AL East, and the White Sox are under .500 yet there's hope!
• I get to go home next week
• My faith journey

Here is my parting thought from a section at the end of the article called, "Love is a Many Icky Thing, Having Trouble with amour?  These kids have it all figured out." 

Q: How do you decide who to marry?

A: No one decides before they grow up.  God decides it way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.  - Kristen, 10

I love it!  What a great reminder that while I don't know how all this all ends, God sure does.  S/he got me this far, and so I need to trust that things will work out.  Rev. Bretz ended her sermon capturing this sentiment better than me, "Easter reminds me that new life, new possibilities, fresh opportunities are always possible." 

The Few. The Proud. The Killmer-Pechie Bridal Party.

There are not very many opportunities to publicly acknowledge the special people in your life.  So I wanted to use a post to speak about our bridal party.  Let me first take a moment to explain the post title.  We have had a couple line-up changes, expected and unexpected; thus I started using the Marine's tag line to talk about these wonderful people who have agreed to stand with Danny and me as we become husband and wife.

Let's start with "my side" (people on the left side of the slide).  My sisters, Denise and Stephanie are the Matron and Maid of Honor, respectively.  I am blessed with sisters that I love and respect very much.  Denise has this wonderful confidence and calming presence, traits that I greatly admire.  Stephanie really has a wickedly funny sense of humor, and this charisma that I wish would rub off on me a little bit. The "bridesmaids" are three long-time friends (at least 10 years served).  I use the quotes because I don't have a good title for Dave.  Top of that row in the pictures is JennCable.  That is not a typo, I call her JennCable, emphasis on the Cable.  She and I lived together for over three years, during and after college she even still speaks to me.  I am a better person for having Jenn in my life, and that is the best way I can describe our friendship.  Next in the picture line would be Beth Castillo.  Beth and I became forever friends our senior year in high school, although I have known her since elementary school.  Beth is an amazing mother to three beautiful children, and I hope one day (in the distant future) to learn from her example.  She is able to bring out a silly side in me like no one else.  Finally, the brave David Kenneth Spence.  I call him brave because he is standing up with the ladies, and I call him by his full name on a fairly regular basis.  Who knows why, it has just always been that way.  Dave and I met over my Christmas break in 2000.  Many adventures later he is one of my dearest friends, and I remain especially grateful for all the miles that we have put on his cars over the years.

Moving on to "Danny's side" written from my perspective.  The Pechie family is well represented with Danny's sister, Jennie as his best ma'am, his Dad (Jim) as a groomsman, and his niece Celeste, as our flower girl.  I feel very lucky to be marrying into this family.  They have been very loving and supportive through our courtship, especially when Danny and I made the decision for him to move to Denver.  Jennie is a tough critic of the girls Danny has dated, but rumor has it I made the cut (phew!). 

On to the groomsman.  My brother-in-law, John will be standing up for Danny since the two of them have also become good friends.  It may never cease to amaze me that out of all the men in this world, Denise and I found two born in the same hospital, who also grew up very close to each other in rural Midwestern towns.  We have tried to find a guy for Stephanie from that area to make it a trifecta, but we may need to give up on that one.  John was the perfect match for Denise, as Danny is the right one for me.  Next, Matt Kipp, a co-worker of Danny's at FirstBank.  Matt and Danny share a mutual love of Colorado micro-brews, which I am grateful for since it cuts down on the number of breweries that I have to visit.  Lastly, is none other than Brian Waxler.  Brian is half of the duo that first introduced Danny and me.  Brian and I have been friends since we lived next door to each other in the duplex while Brian also lived in the same dorm as Danny in their freshman year of college.  Although he and Jeff Beyrau both had an equal part in the match-making process, Brian likes to take full credit.

Finally we have Heather and Jenni Salisbury who will be serving a dual role for us that day.  You will first seem them as our "usherettes", and then they will regale you with the story of how Danny and I met.  I have known Jenni since I moved to Colorado, five years ago, and I met Heather somewhere along the way on a visit before she moved to Denver a couple years ago.  Both are avid travelers and also blessed with wonderful personalities that brighten up any room they enter.  Jenni and Heather have become extended family for Danny and me, which is such a gift. 

I just wanted to thank each of these people for being part of our special day, which is made all that much better by their presence.

You Just Got Married (in September)! What are You Going to Do Now?

We're going to Disney World!  Okay, I will admit that title and subsequent answer is really only mildly funny if you remember the commercials that play after championships are won.  I have always wanted to be able to say those words to someone, and this may be my only chance.  Very similar to how my felt football field that I constructed for a review game with my high school students was called, "Laurie Killmer Stadium" because I do not foresee ever having enough money to buy a sports franchise.  One has to seize these types of opportunities.

In all seriousness though, Danny and I are going to Walt Disney World (Orlando) with a side trip to the Atlantic Ocean/Cape Canaveral for our honeymoon.  Why?  A couple reasons.  First, Danny has never been to Disney World.  Yes, it's true he will turn 30 without ever having been to Disney World, which made me sad.  I have many childhood memories that included this magical place, and so I wanted Danny to experience it too.  Plus, well I just do not sit well.  I am the WORST beach person EVER, and not just because I often become "tomato-like." I do not enjoy sitting down for hours at a time.  Thus, Disney World seemed like a very nice compromise, and we will make Danny's wish for a side-trip happen too.  This way I will get my fill of sand for the next six or seven years, and he can see Cape Canaveral/the ocean.  I mean marriage is all about compromise, right?

The honeymoon planning process is underway, and the excitement level is rising!  There was nearly a serious mishap with the flights, which I choose to attest to my brain being absolute mush.  We will be going to Indiana first before heading to Orlando, but I had us going from Chicago to Denver, which would be pretty hard.  Fortunately, I figured it out in time for Southwest to help me fix it.  That is not the type of honeymoon story I want to be telling years from now.  Instead I would rather be talking about Danny wanting his very own pair of Mickey Ears, us having lunch at Cinderella's Castle, and other adventures around the parks.

Here's hoping Danny finds Disney to be all that I have talked it up to be!

Why Not?



I like to rationalize with animals, but for the sake of this post I am making the "why not" motion.



Danny and I finally got around to renting, We Bought a Zoo the other night.  I say "finally" because I have been wanting to see this movie for a while.  It sure did not disappoint.  In fact, it was one of the better movies I have seen in a long time.  Danny even managed to stay up until after 10:00 p.m. to finish it.  For those of you who don't know that is a really big deal.

A common theme throughout the movie is the question, "Why Not?"  Question to Matt Damon's character: "Why did you buy a zoo?"  His Answer: "Well, why not?"  I have found myself pondering this thought since watching the movie.  It is such a sweet and idyllic response to what may be some difficult questions/situations/changes.  Big decisions I have had to make for myself to date have included (but are not limited to): where I went to college, what to major in once I got there, moving to Denver, marrying Danny.  Some of those were easier or more logical than others.  For the record, deciding to spend my life with Danny was the easiest.  He is an easy person to love. 

Still I find myself looking for that balance between an attitude of "why not" and knowing that I have certain responsibilities as a grown-up.  I mean I am 30 now, and so I am pretty sure that makes me a full-fledged adult (crap!) 

I have had a few back and forth thoughts as of late, searching for a situation or decision that I can confidently respond, "why not?"  Here are a few examples:

•  Me: I want to join a Roller Derby team!  Response from my sisters: they would kill you.
• Okay, so that's probably not a good idea.  Moving on...
•  Me: I want to become an alpaca farmer!  I have talked myself out of this one since I don't know a thing about alpacas.
• Plus the way I see it, it took me years to get Spike to pretend to listen to me, and I am pretty sure alpacas are more stubborn than your average pug.  Although the Spike-Monster is anything but average.
• Me: I would like to be the first female offensive coordinator in the NFL!  Common response: they won't let you in the locker room with the players.
• Well fine.  I will just continue to yell at the TV on Sundays, and hope that I amuse the people around me.  I also figure at some point someone with some clout on the various teams will start listening to me.  Please don't kill all my dreams.

Unfortunately, I think I need to wait for my "why not" moment.  Perhaps it's kind of like love, it finds you when you're not searching for it. 

Until then, I am going to count my blessings and work on my courage to say "why not" the next time the opportunity strikes!  Although much to my dismay, it will more than likely not be buying my own zoo.



Well Hell, I'm 30.



I may be 30, but I am not too old to ride the carousel!

It is not a secret that I have been completely freaked out about turning 30.  Well, I did it, and got myself out of bed!  I am going to call that progress since I was a little worried I was going to hide under the covers.  It sure helped that Danny surprised me by taking the day off so that we could do all kinds of fun activities.  Being sung to, waffles, miniature golf (I lost),  Tourney Town, pizza, some really bad basketball, and a bike ride to try to work off all the unhealthy food that was consumed makes for a very nice day.

So what was so scary about this particular birthday?  To be completely honest, I am not sure other than the fact that I did not get everything done in my twenties that I had hoped to accomplish.  I had this crazy notion that I would have myself/my situation figured out by now.  I remember in college telling my roommate that it often felt as if everyone else knew what in the world was going on, yet I was completely clueless.  Jenn's response, I don't think they have it figured out either, and they probably think that you do.

Many people have told me that life gets better as you go along.  To date it has been pretty good, and so I look forward to what's ahead.  At the start of March I posted on Facebook that I only have 30 days left of my 20s.  To which I received some wonderful responses.  Here are two of my favorites:

•  "When my granddaughter turned five and we were driving home from her birthday party, with all the seriousness a five year old can have, looked at me and said, 'Grandma, I don't know what the big deal is about turning five.'  So she would say to you, 'Laurie, I don't know what the big deal is about turning 30."
•  "Laurie, I am fast approaching my 60s, about 160 days.  Your feelings about your age are valid.  I will not try to tell you otherwise.  I have unmet goals from every decade in my life.  Living life got in the way of my goals.  I have accepted that I probably will not be acclaimed Emperor of the Universe.  Being the best paralegal I can be is a pretty good accomplishment."

As I start this new decade I will try to remember that turning 30 is not that big a deal, and that it is okay for living life to get in the way of my goals.  As a Facebook friend once told me, I have a pretty good life.  I just wish 30 came with some kind of discount program like AARP (I will never forget how excited my Mom was to turn 50 because it meant she got an AARP membership).  Of course it would need to apply to non-retired people since my goal of retiring by 30 was derailed by work in education/non-profit.  Oh well - let's just put that on my list for the 30s.